Have you ever read the book “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman? If so, then you know that Mr. Chapman believes there are five ways that we can improve our ability to communicate with those we care about. Understanding how the other person gives and receives love provides an opportunity for both parties to give and receive based on what their individual needs are. I mean how many times have you been in a conversation and felt that you were giving what you thought they needed only to find out you were way off in your assumptions. What Mr. Chapman offers sounds like a quick fix to the lifelong issue of men being from Mars and women from Venus. According to his book the five love languages are: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time and Physical Touch. By taking the time to understand the needs and expectations of those you love the veil that keeps you from connecting with each other begins to fade. To discover you and your partner’s love language, check out this free quiz.
So of course, I begin to think what if I used the same principles of learning God’s love language in order to improve the way we communicate. Having the ability to understand what God desires from me would take away a lot of the guess work for me. I started in the one book I knew would give me a look at the heart of God, the Bible. The first example of God’s love language hit me in the book of Genesis when He created man. When God created the world, He spoke what he wanted to see appear and there it was, but when God created man it was different. God formed man with His hands breathing His very own breath into him, Genesis 2:7. That sounds like Physical Touch to me! Yet as I kept reading God revealed that He also spend time with man, Genesis 3:8-9. Adam and Eve knew when God was near and God know that they were not where they usually were when He walked in the garden, He had to call out for them. In this moment God shows that He also enjoys quality time with His creations teaching them how to know Him intimately. I was content with these to yet as I continued to read, I discovered that God also likes to receive gifts. The story involving Cain and Abel revealed that God always wants to receive the first fruit as a gift from man. Not sure I you are where I am right now, but it seems like God is a combination of a few love languages. Physical Touch, Quality Time, and Receiving Gifts are the languages I see right out the gate. Then God brought to my remembrance, Moses, who used words of affirmation when he was in the desert with the people of God. He reminded God of who He was and the promises He had spoken to Abraham which in turn caused God to change His mind about harming His people, Exodus 32:11-14. Acts of service had me scratching my head for awhile, but God sent me to Leviticus. There I read about those who served as the priest who performed offerings to God on behalf of God’s people. The priests were required to perform specific act based on the sins of the people and all the other acts instructed by God. After all this, I prayed and asked God what was His love language, the answer is obedience.
I thought I misunderstood. How was it I found examples of every love language we desire to communicate in the Bible, yet it not be God’s? The scripture that came to mind was Isaiah 55:8, God told me to get past my thoughts and hear His instruction. We are made in the image of God, meaning He is a part of everything that we are so we too may need to communicate using one of the five languages to feel love. Although we may feel strongly about one love language over another and see bits of Him reveled in us through them, they do not define what His desire is. From the beginning of the creation of Adam and Eve, God has been asking us to obey Him. Obeying His boundaries, laws, decrees, and expectations of what He asks of us, recognizing that He is enough. That no other thing or person can provide what He can. Obedience is all He desires from me…from you. The love languages can help us relate to each other as we apply God’s commandment to love one another unconditionally. For a deeper relationship with God we must see His love language for what it is without adding or subtracting options or complicating things. Work diligently to obey every word that He has shared with us in His love story to us, the Bible. That alone will build a relationship with Him that will not fail!